Teaching Teens To
Manage Their Anger
Managing Anger And The Teenager Like adults and kids, teens can experience anger too. Lets face it a teenager is
going through some heavy-duty physical changes and the hormones that are bouncing around inside a teens body can
create mood-swings, and emotional outbursts that can even surprise them when they happen.
Experiencing the emotion anger is a natural occurrence. What we chose to do to express our anger is our choice.
The choices we make about how we express our anger is called Anger Management.
A teen has many tools available to them in which to manage their anger. Anger Management Tools are what a teen
can use to channel or funnel their emotions so that they can express themselves without causing injury to
themselves, others or property.
The challenge for the teen is knowing they have these tools and learning how to use them.
Tool 1: Self Control Most teens have been using this tool since they were a kid. They use this
tool in conversation all the time. They know that if they tell their mom that the meatloaf tastes like dog food,
she will likely not let him have desert, so instead he uses some self control and instead says, its ok mom, but Ill
pass on the seconds because your cake sure smells great.
This isnt a lie; you are just controlling the urge to blast her with a better description to save her feeling
and your desert! Now as a teen when you feel yourself becoming angry, like when your face gets to feeling all warm
and you just know that your face is turning all shades of red and you find yourself clenching your fists you can
fall back on self control to diffuse the situation.
You can step back and give yourself time to gain control over your words and actions. Words and actions that
will be less likely to land you in hot water.
Did You Know This About Anger Management
How Do You Become More Aware Of Your Anger?
Part of Anger Management is learning how to be aware of your anger. When you are more aware of your anger, you can recognize situations, events or people that are common factors in your anger episodes. One way to become aware of the situations that you find yourself reacting in anger to, is to keep a log of the times when you find yourself expressing anger. Remember, not all anger is unnecessary anger; some anger is beneficial and can even save your life if you are being threatened. Anger can...
Tool 2: Know Yourself Take a good look at past scrapes you may have got yourself into and examine
why you became angry. Knowing what things set you off can be a guide to knowing what things to avoid the next time.
There is no shame in knowing what situations and persons are most likely to anger you and then plan to avoid them.
In fact avoidance is a very smart strategy.
If avoidance is not possible than knowing other things about you can be used to diffuse situations too. You may
find out that you are pretty good at vocabulary and perhaps using words that a bully does not know can give you the
time to walk away from a situation.
Tool 3: Controlling The Damage When faced with a situation you know will anger
you, stopping to take an assessment of what can happen if you say or do a particular thing can help you to choose
the option that will bring about the least amount of damage. Your first choice would be to avoid or walk away from
a situation. Lets face it; some situations are unavoidable.
In this case, you want to walk out of the situation with as little damage as possible to yourself,
to others and to any property that may be around. Taking stock of the situation and thinking of the solution that
creates the most amount of benefit while causing the least amount of damage is called: damage control.
Sometimes particular situations or events make us frustrated and angry. For example, peak
hour traffic is the most dangerous and most frustrating time to drive. The mess in your house
or child's bedroom can also be cause for stress and anger.
Tool 4: The teen has another tool at their disposal. That tool is the ability to
talk things over with peers and the adults who care about them. Talking things out can open up new solutions or can
give the teen allies who can support and comfort them. A teen never needs to feel that they are alone in managing
their anger. Talking things over with others can even bring new tools to light.