How Does Modern Society View Anger? Part 2

Aggressive Forms Of Anger

Aggressive Anger can be explained in the following ways:

• Threatening, such as trying to frighten people by saying things like how they could do you harm, damage their property or their prospects, finger pointing, fist shaking, even wearing clothes which can be associated with violent behavior, tailgating, laying on their car horn, and slamming doors.
  
• Hurtful, resorting to physical violence, using verbal abuse, unfair jokes, breaking a confidence, playing loud music when others don't want to hear it, the use of foul language, ignoring other people’s feelings, willfully discriminating against someone, blaming, or punishing people for deeds they know they didn't commit, false labeling of others.
  
• Destructive, damaging objects, knowingly breaking up a relationship between two people, driving recklessly without caring about the results, and drinking too much.
  
• Bullying, threatening people, persecuting people, pushing or shoving people, using their power to oppress others, shouting, road rage, exploiting people’s weaknesses.
  
• Unjustly blaming, accusing other people to cover for your own mistakes, trying to blame other people for your own feelings, making general accusations without knowing if they are true or not.
  
• Manic, Things like speaking way too fast, walking too fast for others to keep up, working too much and expecting others to fit in, driving to fast, and reckless spending of their money.
  
• Grandiose, Might be things like showing off, expressing mistrust when it is not deserved, not delegating things to others, being a very poor loser, wanting to be the center of attention all the time, not listening to others, talking over people’s heads, expecting forced make up sessions to solve conflicts.
  
• Selfish, ignoring other’s needs, not responding to genuine requests for help, queue jumping, aggressive driving.
   
• Revengeful, such as being over-punitive, refusing to forgive and forget or wanting to hold a grudge, bringing up hurtful memories from the past which should just be left in the past.
  
• Unpredictable, temperament going from calm to explosive almost instantly, explosive anger over minor frustrations, attacking indiscriminately and for no real reason, dispensing punishment out of the blue, inflicting harm on other just for the fun of it, using alcohol and drugs which are known to destabilize our moods, using illogical arguments to cause a confrontation.

It should be noted that not everyone displaying these types of behavior will always have a true anger management problem.

Did You Know This About Anger Management Understanding The Physical Signs Of Anger In order to better manage your anger, one must be able to recognize the physical signs that are clues that your anger is rising. Your body is a wonderful gift in that it keeps on giving us precious clues as to what is going on with it. Understanding our bodily signals and paying attention to what our body is telling us can help us to live healthier lives. Knowing the signals our body gives us concerning anger can help us to detect anger sooner and give us a better start on controlling our...

Methods of Anger Management

Psychologists usually will recommend a balanced approach to anger, which will both control the emotion of anger, while allowing the emotion to be expressed in a healthy way. Examples of which are:

• Direct, no beating around the bush, making their behavior visible as well as conspicuous, using body language to indicate your true feelings clearly as well as honestly, direct anger directly at persons involved.
  
• Honorable, by making it clear that there is a clear and moral basis for the anger, always being prepared to defend what you believe, learning not to use manipulation or emotional blackmail to get what you want, never abusing or taking advantage of another person’s basic human rights, never taking advantage of the weak or defenseless, learning to take responsibility for their own actions.
  
• Foci, This would be sticking to the issue at hand, and not bringing up irrelevant material.
  
• Persistent, repeating your feelings in a discussion over and over again, or standing your ground.
  
• Courageous, taking some calculated risks, enduring the short term discomfort in order to achieve long term gain, taking the risk of the displeasure of some people, taking the lead and not letting others make all the decisions, accept that others may be angry with you and not to fear it, not following the crowd and owning up to differences, using self protective skills.
  
• Passionate, You could use the full power of your body to show the intensity of your feelings (not in a threatening way), show that you are excited and highly motivated, acting dynamically and energetically, be the one who is initiating change, show deep caring, being fiercely protective of important things, be encouraging to others.
  
• Creative, be a quick thinker on your feet, use more wit in the things you do, learn to be spontaneously coming up with new ideas as well as new views on different subjects.
  
• Forgiving, be open and demonstrate a genuine willingness to hear about other people’s anger and grievances, show the ability to wipe the slate clean once anger has been expressed. 

Dr. Fiendler suggests that people try, in the heat of any angry situation, to try and see if they can understand where the other person is coming from. Empathy is always very difficult when we are angry, but it can make all the difference in the world.

Isn't it the case that when we get very angry with someone, the next day we tend to feel guilty to some extent? We might say to ourselves something like, "You know, they did have a valid point. Maybe I sort of over-reacted." Taking the other person's point of view can be hard when in the throes of anger, but with some practice it can become second nature.

Try your best to listen carefully to what is being said to you. Anger can create a hostility filter, and very often all you can hear is the things which are negatively toned.

Buddhists, recommend a different approach. They believe that there are several ways for handling anger, the most important among them are: equanimity, patience, understanding karma, and realization of emptiness.